me myself n i..

last week has been an emotional roller coaster ride 4 me.yes there were the exams (not that im done with it)..but that’s not what bothered me the most..it was all the 2pm drama..you hav 2 respect jype for their promotion of 2pm new album, despite all the stupid things they’ve done..it started with the countdown which got HOTTEST hyped up..then there’s the heartbeat..and the countdown stopped at 1:59? genius.they took whatever the fans gave them n turn it 4 their own benefit. we did guess that the countdown was 4 the new album, but we couldnt help hopin that it was all for jay..like just maybe jype is gonna bring him back..of coz that didnt happen..coz then the released the teaser for the new song..and it was awesome! n then another one..u cnt help but to be excited..

their comeback, a lot of HOTTEST are feeling confuse about it. of coz we’re happy that they’re back, they’ve been hibernating for quite some time already..of coz we wanna support them..but then we hav to consider another thing..PARK JAE BEOM..we want him back..2pm is not complete without him..n the only way we can persuade jype to bring him back is by boycotting 2pm..in short, its a very bittersweet comeback..

you’ve gotta respect HOTTEST, all around the world..eventhough its painful to not being able to support the boys..i mean, this is the official fanclub, what else should they do other than support the boys? they’ve come out with all the rules for this boycott campaign, to prove to jype that 2pm is not 2pm without jay.. i thought boycotting is just by not buyin their album..but apparently, u’re not suppose to be watchin 2pm videos on youtube too since jype can monitor the watch count..they’re really serious about it..

but with this new album, u cn see that even HOTTEST is tearing apart..some of them just couldnt stand the idea of boycotting..i mean, they’re stiil the other 6 members..they’re still part of 2pm and obviously they need the fans’ support. its not that they’re forgetting jay, its just that there’ve been no progress whatsoever with jype..so is the boycott worth it? some even go to the length of calling those who boycott as not fans anymore.me? i support the boycott wholeheartedly.2 pm need a leader n the only leader is jay!

back 2 the promotion, the title of the 1st track released is ‘tired of waiting’.then its ‘i was crazy about u’. then the name the album 1:59. then the main song,’heartbeat” is all about not being able to let someone go. it doesnt take a genius to see that jype is using jay’s issue n the fans devotion to promote this album. they’re so good at manipulating people..

n what can i say about the album? it’s really, really daebak! really awesome! i particularly loveee heartbeat.cant get enough of it! n the know that jyp himself composed it! damn that guy is a genius! n then just now the mv was released. their new concept..i dont know..it’s darker, mysterious, n more manly? i’ve always prefer 2 pm not bcoz their looks, but bcoz their personality.they’re so lively! there’s jay, the goofy leader, taek, the playful beast, woo young, the baby of the group, junho, the normal,cool guy, chan sung, the hot maknae, junsu, the heavenly voice, and nichkhun, the thai prince?hehehe..

but damn..my fav is jay n woo young..n in this new mv, woo young is not like woo young anymore..he’s so slim ( no more of those poisonous chubby cheeks..huhuhu) n he’s..hot…!!! i dont think anyone has ever associated woo young with the word hot..he’s always been the cute one..the others dont change so much (or i just didnt pay that much attention to them..hehehe).n i like the choreography during the chorus..when they flicked their heads..it looks so cool!! but still, when i watched the mv, i did wonder, if jay was there, what kind of hairstyle will he has? n is it bcoz of jay that they dont do that much acrobatic stunts in the mv? u cant never forget jay..every HOTTEST feel that way..

anyhow, i hope that this drama will be over soon, with jay back with his group mates..they say that jyp talked about the plan of bringing jay back, but since the show hasnt air yet, we still hv to wait..in the mean time..2 pm hwaitin!! HOTTEST stay strong! ~love n respect~

hahaha..terbaca..:p

~extracted from sookyeong.wordpress.com ~

I just read JYP’s message about Park Jaebeom in K Bites. It seems JYP really has a personal relationship with all of his artists. The message is heartfelt and I did feel that he also mourns Jaebeom’s departure. It’s really sad to see him go and it’s even sadder because he was forced to. It’s really a shame ’cause he really has what it takes to be somebody. Here’s JYP’s message as found in K Bites:

“I have received much shock from what Jaebum wrote 4 years ago to his friend. Could it have been another celebrity, I myself would have felt much anger, resentment, and abandonment at his words. But I have known Jaebum for so long that those words are not surprising to me.

I already knew Jaebum was that kind of child.

When Jaebum first came to Korea 4 years ago, he was very rebellious and out of line. He laughed at Korea and belittled his fellow trainees, even going so far as to see me as ‘easy.’ I believe he thought that being a Korean celebrity was something to laugh at. He was a boy that wanted to b-boy in the streets. He fought with company employees, his dance instructors, and made threatening statements.

At times, he even said that he did not like JYP Ent., and would name another rival company, wishing to be sent there instead.

But what made us surprised even more was that when asked whether he had the guts to succeed, he said “We could succeed if we don’t receive JYP’s music.”

At this point, employees wondered why we were keeping such a rebellious boy.

This is why his words 4 years ago are not suprising.

Then why would we keep such a kid?

I love rebellious children. Rather than children that are nice up front but are calculating and evil behind my back, I love children that are rebellious up to my face. I loved the fact that he showed his emotions straight up. It gave me hope. Who would have the guts to utter such words to my face? To say that his failure depended on my bad music? I thought that it was funny.

I believed that rebellious children had too much energy, just no place to express that energy. Or they never met someone that would trust them enough to show them the correct path. I wanted to help this person go on stage and feel the energy and joy. As long as I could instill within him trust and love.

To Jaebum, there are only two types of people. His family, and those that are not his family. He loves his family more than I could ever know. The reason he talks about money in interviews is not to buy nice clothes, it is to pay back his family, who always works hard for him. That’s why he ran the path of becoming a singer.

He was rebellious, but he excelled in training.

I saw this and thought, if only I could make him think of my company, his fellow trainees, this company as his family. if only.

So one day, I told him “Jaebum, someone is not a family only because they share the same blood. Please open your heart to them first. Then others can be your family too.”

Through these efforts, he began to change.. He began to hug his fellow trainees, start conversations with company employees, and began enjoying his time on the stage.

He finally began to express his energy on stage and began to shine through singing and dancing.

I chose him as the team’s leader. The rest of the 6 really believed in him and followed his lead.

He always trained with them and always thought of his younger members before him..

After his debut, he felt a change in his heart at the news reporters and attentions that showed him in a positive light and began showing affection.

He was touched at by the hearts of his fans.

Good people, good friends, good fans… good music.. through all this, he began to change.

But as things began to go up, like a sad movie scene, his entry from 4 years ago was released.

He was so sorry. To his 2PM brothers, to me, to his company employees, to his fans.. and to nobody more than to his Koreans.

He thought to himself that if he stayed any longer, his brothers would only get more hurt. He told me he did not have the confidence to get up on stage.

I knew what he was saying too well to hold him back.

If I were him, I would have made the same decision.

And so he left.

His last email to me said “I’VE BEEN A LITTLE PUNK IN THE PAST. I JUST WANT TO LET YO UKNOW THAT IT WAS A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE. IT MADE ME A MUCH BETTER MUCH STRONGER PERSON AND I’M THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. REAL TALK.”

My heart was ripping. It hurt. But knowing what Koreans would feel at his words, an immense sense of betrayal, I could not say anything.

But what I can do for him is to tell everyone that he showed on TV is not fake. He might have been rebellious but never fake. He never hid his true emotions. He was always up front, straight up… and that is something that can never change.

I know the public and the fans and I am listening to your opinions. But the most important thing is that Jaebum is not 2PM’s Park Jaebum but a child, a teenager Jaebum.

I genuinely wish for you all to hold his decision true.

I apologize once more.

JYP”

I actually have no idea how 2pm will stand after all of this. The whole departure and netizens being mean thing must have hurt everyone in the group. I don’t know if they’ll disband or move forward as 2pm still. Jaebeom is not 2pm but his presence really did made an impression in fans and the public. 2pm is seven guys and that can never be changed.

Some idol groups made changes in their group’s line up and still became successful. The Wonder Girls changed it’s member and received a lot of success after but it would be different for 2pm. When Yoobin joined Wonder Girls, the group didn’t have that much of a following. But with 2pm, they are already an established group.

I actually don’t know if I would want them to continue as 2pm with 6 members or recruit another one to replace Jaebeom. Either way, it would be really weird. I’m still hoping though that he’ll return but let’s face reality. That’s scenario is a possibility but it’s far from happening. The damage has been done and there’s nothing anybody can do to make things back the way they are.

I miss the 2pm boys being goofy. I miss their carefree ways that they have continuously shown in ‘Wild Bunny’ and ‘Idol Army’. But we can’t dwell in the past. As Ellie said in seoulbeats, we should give 2pm and Jaebeom time for themselves and not bombard them with requests of him going back. I can imagine how hurt Jaebeom must have felt when the whole myspace thing came out.

Time heals all wounds they say. We are all hurt and in disbelief in what have transpired in the past few days but we should not let it cloud our judgement. I saw somewhere that an underground fan community are planning to boycott JYP and 2pm until Park Jaebeom comes back. I honestly feel that is a bad idea. It would only hurt the hearts of Jaebeom and the members. What 2pm in needs right now is support. Support from their family and support from their fans. I’ve thought about it, and I think we should be open with the idea of 2pm moving forward without Jaebeom. It’s really a shame that he won’t feel the success of what he trained for four years, but maybe there’s something out there better for Jaebeom. Everything happens for a reason.

To fans like me, let’s give our support and try to move on. The damage been done is something that just cannot go away. It hurts me to think that 2pm will go downhill after this. I don’t want that to happen and I know Jaebeom don’t want that to. He left Korea to protect his members and the group from the narrow-minded netizens who wishes the groups’ downfall, and I know he would have want them to move on without him. I do still hope he’ll comeback. But right now, I feel that he won’t.

i’ve always thought that nobody read my blog. i mean, there’s only some silly ramblings, reflecting my mood at the time. i’ve always been emotional, but i dont really show. i get easily e

~extracted from http://shockedfan.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/can-2pm-get-up-again/ ~

A lot has been said and done in the past month. From the spread of Park Jaebeom’s myspace comment up to the recently concluded 2009 Dream Concert. I don’t know much how the music business works in Korea but I do know how people think.

In a few weeks, three boybands will make their debut. Rain’s group project, MBLAQ, AJ’s new team, B2ST, and the male version of So Nyeo Shi Dae, Child of Empire. All three idol groups have a somewhat link to 2pm. B2ST has expressed their desire to take away the beast idol title from 2pm while Child of Empire did an excellent cover of a 2pm song. And MBLAQ, in my opinion is the closest to 2pm, image-wise. Both MBLAQ and 2pm defies the norm.

I know it has just been a few weeks since the 2pm domino of misfortunes happened. But with the wave of boy bands coming out, I can’t help but think that maybe if 2pm does comeback, even as 7 member, there won’t be much to comeback to. Fans will always be fans. Though Koreans fans are the most loyal fans out there, a person has his limit. He won’t wait forever. Especially if the fan has finally accepted the fact that his cause is not fighting for.

2pm has got to be the most popular group around. No offense intended to Big Bang, Super Junior and SHINee, but you have to admit that it is true. Their surge to the top has been pheonominal. Big Bang, Super Junior and even DBSK took longer to get to where 2pm is in right now, popularity-wise. But with recent events, it seems like it’s all down hill for the group.

Like many fans, I don’t know quite well what’s happening in JYP but I do know something is not right. As I said in a previous article, 2pm has been the sole act that has been putting money to the company as much as the Wonder Girls have done. I don’t understand why the company is not doing that much to actually save their income. The fans have expressed their resentment on 2pm being a six member and showed support on a Jaebeom comeback. 2pm members have showed their support to Jaebeom in one way or another. And Jaebeom has stated his willingness to comeback to the group. So what’s keeping the company from reuniting the members?

I’ve seen MBLAQ’s Rain concert performance, B2ST’s album teaser, and Child of Empire’s showcase performance. And to be honest, all three are good. They have the face and the talent to overthrow 2pm if the latter group remains in the hole they are in now. JYP must act to keep himself in the competition. Once 2pm is out, who will represent the company? 2am? Joo?

Here are my suggestions to JYP:

Sceneraio 1: Jaebeom will not comeback
1.) Ask Jaebeom to to do an interview.
2.) Re-debut the remaining 6pm. Change their name.
3.) Talk to fans.

Scenario 2: Jaebeom will comeback
1.) Announce that Jaebeom is still part of 2pm but will be in leave to help him get over the myspace incident.

I’ll be keeping an eye on the three debuting groups. It seems like there’s potential there to be something great.

Readin that, i know that i’ve been really stupid with this  2pm obsession. Of coz, boy bands come n go, every year there’ll be new groups debuting..n of coz they’ll be great. imagine ,they’ve been in training for years..their talents  hv been polished, they practise the same thing over n over again..n they’ll be advised on what to do n how to behave to woo the fans..n fans are fickle..they’ll like whatever’s hot at that moment..n with this ongoing drama, 2pm is fast losing fans’ interest..i guess we’re just tired of waiting for the unknown..

I guess y i like 2pm so much is bcoz they’re different. they’re just a bunch of crazy , goofy kids who just want to follow their dreams. they act whichever way they want, they say whatever’s on their mind..

n i dont think i’ll be this obsess with them if it wasn’t for what happened 2 jay. that, is really unfair. i mean, can’t they say how hard it was for him when he first arrived in korea? yes, he shouldn’t hv said those things, but give him a break..he was like what, 17,18? what will he do now? all his 4 years effort will be in waste..n it’ll be such a shame to loss a talented person like him..

but i think i hv to stop this obsession now. nothing seems to be changing. he’s still in seattle, 2pm still performs as 6 members..maybe he’ll never return..fans just have to accept that..n really, what do i get from all this? i’m stressing out for nothing..really really stupid huh..

Its been over a month now..n i still can’t accept it..

LeadJa

Waiting For You Park Jae Beom!!

JB OFFICIALLY QUITS JYP???omg!!!gle ke pe?i was really hoping they were trying to convince JB to return, but in the end??like, there’s 0 change of JB returning at all!!hate u JYP!!!how cn u be so heartless??geramnye!!!2pm will never be the same!!arghhh!!!so now i cn only watch JB on past shows, mv..god..cant imagine how its gonna be like, seeing only 6 of them..feel like crying really..coz i was really hoping he’ll be back..thinking that he’s just taking a break after that stupid incident..its gonna be so lame after this..there’s nobody like JB..even ang ang WY cant replace him..boycott 2pm??x bley..its not fair 4 the other members..tp, i cn never ever accept this..ARGHHHH!!!!

Dear Diary,

   I haven’t sleep properly in days! i’ve been having at most 4 hours sleep, which is totally unacceptable!(I need 7 hours at least :p) I’m putting all my blame on all those awesome Korean/ Jap dramas. Yup, I’m stupid enuf to sacrifice my sleep on those dramas eventho I hav class n work the next day..

   But yesterday was a whole new record..coz I didnt sleep at all.Act it shuldnt be a problem since its Saturday the nxt day, but guess what, I hav sumthing on at 8 am! Well, I maneged to get thru it, but I was drowsy n quite disoriented with evrtyhing else the whole time..Luckily I wasn’t always that ethusiastic, so I’m guessing nobody noticed anything..

     It’s not that I was planning not to sleep at all. Last nite, I got back home arnd 11 after havin dinner n watchin a movie at a friend’s house. I left my phone at home, so when I checked my phone, I was pleasantly suprised to see misscall n txt from my frenz in M’sia. My best fren was like, “Call me sue! need to talk rite now! just use my acc” or sumthing like that..we havent talk to each other for weeks, but i knew what she wnted to talk about..

   Last nite was a very important nite for 1 of my frens. As frens, we shud hav been supportive and happy for him, coz he got a rare opportunity to pursue his dream. To tell the truth, I’m quite excited for him. He made me realise that really, we can be anything that we wanna be. I never thought he’s into those kind of stuff. But its great that he knows what he wanna do with his life. We dont know what the future hold for use, so we can choose whichever way to follow for the nxt chapter of our lives.

   But we were not happy for him, esp my best fren. The problem lies in what he’s doing, he’s on his road to becoming a well-known actor. Act,at least half of Malaysian poupulation shud know him by now. People are talking ,even arguing about him.

   Along the way, there’re a lot of things that he has to do that do not conform to what a muslim shud do. Things like holding hands with non-muhrim, is not an issue for him anymore. Mybe he thinks its just actin. n we are all concern bcoz we know that he’s a nice guy. But that’s the problem with the society nowadays, being a nice person doesn’t make u a good muslim. They think that as long as they pray n fast, they’re already good muslims. They shud know that there’re so much more to becoming a muslim!

   My fren n I got into a discussion regarding the issue. I told her we couldn’t blame him completely, he doesn’t understand. She argued back that he’s already know his boundaries, what’re halal n haram for him,what’re his obligations to God. I know she’s been trying hard to make him aware of it. I heard the last thing she tried was sending him a hadith which state that it is better  to touch pig or dog (i hav to check), than touching a non muhrim of the opposite sex.

   My argument is, knowing is not the same as understandin. It took me years to be able to understand, to be able to accept the fact that we do things bcoz its God’s order. Muslims dont need to rely on scientific discoveries to believe that all that has been prescribed for us by God is for our own benefits. What we do, how we behave, are all the result of our faith in God, in heaven and hell. If we truly believe in the Day of Judgement, we wont dare to step over the line that has been set for us, or will we?

   I dont think he has sum1 to remind him, or to instill that believe in him. He need time to let it sink. in the mean time, what we cn do is to pray to Allah that He will show n lead them to the right path, bcoz He’s the one who’s holding everyone’s hearts. She said that Im always defending the guys. Do I?  I dont know, I guess I still want to hold on to our school time memories, when we were all so innocent. Yes, we did a lot of stupid things, but I thin it was still within the boundaries, or at least we tried to keep within the boundaries.

   N then i spent hours chattin to my other close fren, talking about the same thing. But this time we werent talking so much in terms of Islamic point of view. It was more like, “gosh, it wud be so nice if he wins, that we cn go hav a ride in his new car” or “mybe we cn him to help us get a role if we want to be on tv”, that sort of stuff. n we were laughin at his actin (bcoz its sooo him!) n at the comments his ‘fans’ left (its so hard to accept people arguing about how cute he is). We didn’t really mean what we’re sayin, but it feels good to be able to laugh, to not be so serious about it. n that’s worrying me. It’s like I’m having dual personalities. I’m torn between what is right, n what feels gud..

  It feels so gud to be able to talk to them, bcoz I think thats the only time I cn n want to show the true me. Here, I haven’t really let anyone in, n i dont want to..I dont want to get close to people. its to much effort, n actin in my part..im definitely not the actress in my group..:p cukuplah drama sebabak dlm hidupku..

Yours Truly,

-me-

Dear Diary ,

   I messed up big time last semester. I was quite unstable, emotionally. Its not so much due to my studies. Its the fact that everything (else) is changing so much and so fast this year. Im beginning to doubt my judgement. Like, should I continue on this path? I guess I’m unhappy bcoz I dont get to be my old self, n I dont like changes.

   I tried talking to others, but it doesn’t really help. I’m still unhappy. I guess its bcoz I’m not being totally honest with them. There’s certain issues that I chose to keep to myself. I dont want them to know the ugly side of me. But the problem now is, it’s starting to show, n I can’t help it.

  So yeah, that’s why I think I should start putting my feelings on paper (n my blog). Someone told me that it makes u feel better afterwards. I’ve deleted my previous posts, coz I think I wasn’t being completely honest. I wrote what I think others can accept. So starting from now onwards, I’m planning to pour out all my dissatisfaction on this page. So yeah, it’s gonna be emo, n its gonna be crap. But I think its gonna help me a lot..coz hopefully I can be totally honest with myself.

The one n only,

-me-